Morning.Coffee.Mayhem

loose.ends

acousticrhythm — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 16:08:43 +0000

first thing this morning
your smile came to mind
i tried ignoring it’s beckon at first
until again, it drew near

i got back into bed
closed my eyes
and began gently touching hidden places
that kept you close

i was careful in my movement
stroking the whole of me
releasing sighs that once called for you
on mornings much like this

i gave in to the thrust
tracing every tender curve
and for first time in months
i became alive again

i lay there now with wilt
hungry still
for your worship
longing still for your smile

Filed under: Dreams, Emotions, Longing, love, Poetry, Thoughts, Writing Tagged: Emotions, Holding on, Longing, Love, Poetry, Thoughts, Writing

wild seeds

acousticrhythm — Mon, 24 May 2010 03:56:39 +0000

my beautiful garden
how i loved you
when you flourished without tame
you were my first home
my only meaning
i visit you now to be surrounded
by your naked earth
i thirst for you still
won’t you welcome me again
and root me to your soil
i wish to grow wildly with only you
in wind and rain
until our love circles every season
until
we are timeless once more

Filed under: Writing Tagged: Emotions, Longing, Love, Thoughts, Writing

Unfinished Business

acousticrhythm — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:17:09 +0000

Morning is no longer certain
Of our purpose as one
And must part us ways
There’s no easy way to cry
Briefly we search for smile
You turn out the light
And pull me into your breath
Feeding my goodbye with kiss
The night becomes our last song
Darkness swallows us whole
Hip to hip
We shadow down
Giving permission to our longing
Truth scatters
And for the first time
We love
For all we pretend
We know that it comes too late
But we go where we can
Giving in to maybe
In hopes of leaving something behind
We go all the way
Without hiding from tomorrow
Touching, clinging
Finding places to hold onto
Bearing arms, we reach
Your eyes plead for my worship
I take from your need
And make full of its offering
Folded nakedly, we bare last rights
Giving, taking
You stroke me with an unfamiliar urging
As my tears earth your coveted beauty
Oh how I love your beauty
And the way it clings to me now
We try to slow motion the final hours
But our closing moment is now before us
Leaving only time for disappearing words
There are none to speak
I pull you into my breath
Feeding your kiss with goodbye
Morning for us is now far gone

Posted in Writing Tagged: Break-Up, Emotions, Longing, Loss, Love, Meloncholy, Poetry, Storm, Thoughts, Writing

a.place.for.my.sister

acousticrhythm — Fri, 08 May 2009 13:53:55 +0000

I can almost see some time ago
When life began for us
In that small room
That became our home
You were fearless
And I remained silent
Relying on your valor to
Become my voice.

I outlined your every step
And paced my own to follow
Careful not to be left alone
From your security.
You sheltered my dependency
While abandoning your own
How sacrificing

I put all my heaviness on you
And watched you endure
Without refusal
And so you became
My salvation
Forgetting how
You must have needed me

I look at you now
Tired from the years
Needing a hand to hold
And how desperately
I wish to reverse it all
And become your saving grace

Posted in Writing Tagged: Emotions, Life, Longing, Love, Meloncholy, Poetry, Thoughts, Truth, Writing

BrokenVoicesElsewhere

acousticrhythm — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:58:12 +0000

You want me when I’m sunny and smiling as if I have complete fullness in myself but you reject the dark in me that so desperately needs to be. You’re only happiest when I have the best of me around but truth is, that just aint often enough for you. Why can’t you understand that I’m blemished and soiled? I’m not gonna walk a straight line without bending just to suit your illusion of me.

The other night while at dinner, you tried to gesture to me to sit up straight and stop talking to the voices in my head as if you were embarrassed. You hurried through your meal without giving my smile a single glance. But as soon as we got home alone, you fucked me wildly and called my name out repeatedly as if you were proud of me somehow in that very moment. You’re so completely satisfied in my vulgar bedside manner that you’d kill yourself if I ever kept it from you. You like the way I put all of me in your mouth and how I take all of you in mine but you can’t stand when I open it to speak.

You want to keep me silenced and pretty so I won’t expose my unbearable truth to your friends and family. So we both pretend that I’m this perfect girl, all qualified just so I can be stamped for approval. We seem to be a long way from our beginning. I recall you once saying how you loved the dim in me. Said it satisfied your high and I was all you needed. But as soon as my mental flip began, it’s become your best kept secret.

I remember how much effort it took for you to say that you loved me that first time. You took me whole, in your mouth just like you do and crawled eagerly inside of me as you began to whimper like a little boy. Your tears seemed real enough so I gestured it back and from that day forward, you learned how to tolerate my conduct and I continued to to pump up the volume where it mattered most.

We’ve seemed to have made it work for the most part, at least until you become less full of me again, which proves to be often enough. It’s as if you seem to only be satisfied with the notion of me. I amuse you and at best,fulfill your grimy needs. But when I’m in my lowest despair, and you’re high has been blown, you could care less about my addiction to you. It’s sort of funny really because everyone loves you, even me. You’re easy to be around and are always the life of the party. But it’s only because you need everyone to accept you more than they notice me.

Truth is, they all love me in spite of myself. All this time, even during the silence, everybody knew. They knew about my disproportion and all the in-between but hardly cared. You were the only one too busy trying to portrait me over. And while doing that, somehow, you managed to only paint mine more vividly while managing to distort your own.

How sad. While trying to silence me, you only hushed your own voice. I may always have the voices, just not yours as the loudest one in my head anymore. You see, you’re the only true grim in my life. You keep me down and smaller than you. It’s ok to have my rainy days. I know that now. Because when the clouds break, and they will, I’ll be sunny and smiling again. You just won’t be around to see it. So fuck off and let me sit in my darkness.

Posted in Writing Tagged: Break-Up, Despair, Emotions, Fiction, Healing, Meloncholy, Poetry, Storm, Thoughts, Writing

come morning

acousticrhythm — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:19:05 +0000

When I’m long gone
And only partly remained
The birds will be singing
As if they knew me by name

And when my song be last over
Its hum will live on
Because the Gods will know better
Than to believe my soul gone

So when the morning flame greets you
There my shadow will be
And if you’re unsure of its company
Just know that it’s me

Posted in Writing Tagged: Flight, Life, Poetry, Thoughts, Writing

you.me.and.the.lake

acousticrhythm — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:20:06 +0000

Wish I could wear you like a summer dress in hot air
Have you cling to my bosom as if we’re merely one
We’d dance around wildly
Like orchids in bloom
And I’d never grow tired from your morning sun

Posted in Writing Tagged: Emotions, Longing, Love, Poetry, Thoughts, Writing

Head Above Zero

acousticrhythm — Thu, 07 May 2009 03:58:13 +0000

Barely tender with virgin eyes that were all too eager
I swam all the way to heaven and back with no air
Because I was never taught to wait
For it to first come to me

Mama never told me about a cold summer
And how it could damage you good
So by the time I settled into it’s fury just right
The long rain had already made its welcome

The surge was always high and heavy
But I kept below its buckle just to give it a rouse
Shallow waters became my best made companion
I quickly learned how to steer my own tide

All dressed with smile and vacant needs
My days began early way before the only sun I’d known
And by the time that ole black river died
The reunion was much too frail to serve me any fairness

I brought on the silence that echoed much like thunder
Crawled round for days in my pitiful loss
And although my contempt should have declared victory
That’s the moment I knew there weren’t no heaven at all

Posted in Writing Tagged: Emotions, Life, Meloncholy, Poetry, Storm, Writing

Labor Day

acousticrhythm — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:00:49 +0000

Legs sprawled loosely
Back arched
Releasing years of scream
She fights to let her freedom out
Her caged blues lastly smile
Once greeted
By cries that resemble her own
Her grace now belongs to pleading eyes
That bear bastard scarring and a name she give

Posted in Writing Tagged: Emotions, Life, Longing, Love, Poetry, Writing

JaneDoe

acousticrhythm — Tue, 05 May 2009 21:44:41 +0000

Pale like ghostly winter
Wilted with bend
She lay crawled beside her
Loose fitting prayers
And
Untreated miles

Mother to the wind
Daughter to no son
Graceful drifter even so

Blemished portrait
Of no said kin
Born to the darkest night
She twice was ruined

A jaded soul
With an invisible smile
And years of woe

Her storm be now over
Black shade and calm envelopes
Her
Unfinished business

Posted in Writing Tagged: Life, Loss, Meloncholy, Poetry, Storm, Writing